🔗Shownotes Links:
🎙️ Guest: Simi Rayat
🌐 Website: simirayat.com
📘 Book: The Productivity Joy – [Amazon Link]
🔗 Related Unstress Health Episodes:
YouTube Timestamps (Concise & Key Points):
00:00 – Welcome & Introduction
02:30 – What is survival mode vs. thrive mode?
06:45 – Simi Rayat’s journey & passion for workplace well-being
12:10 – The role of leadership in fostering engagement & mental health
18:30 – The shocking workplace stress statistics you need to know
22:00 – The 5Qs Formula: 5 Questions to ask every morning
33:40 – How organisations can implement the 5Qs Formula
40:00 – Final thoughts & actionable takeaways
The Joy of Work: 5 Questions to Shift from Surviving to Thriving
– with Simi Rayat
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:00:01] Hi, Dr ron here and I want to invite you to join our Unstress Health Community. Now, like this podcast, it’s independent of industry and focuses on taking a holistic approach to human health and to the health of the planet. The two are inseparable. There are so many resources available with membership, including regular live Q &As on specific topics with special guests, including many with our amazing Unstress Health Advisory Panel. Now we’ve done hundreds of podcasts, all worth listening to, with some amazing experts on a wide range of topics. Many are world leaders, but with membership, we have our Unstress Lab podcast series where we take the best of several guests and carefully curate specific topics for episodes which are jam packed full of valuable insights. So join the Unstressed Health Community. If you’re watching this on our YouTube channel, click on the link below or just visit UnstressHealth.com to see what’s on offer and join now. I look forward to connecting with you. Hello and welcome to Unstress Health. My name is Dr Ron Ehrlich. Well today we continue a little bit of discussion about workplace well -being and in fact I think when we consider how much time in our lives and not just physically but mentally and emotionally the workplace has, the impact that the workplace has. And even if you are not at work, you may have a partner who is at work and that work will impact on your life. And the distinction between work and life is so blurred now that this is of relevance to actually everybody. And what’s not to like about a person whose mission it is? Well, the joy of work mission. My guest today is organisational psychologist, Simi Rayat. Now Simi is on a mission to empower and equip five million busy professionals to shift from surviving to thriving. Now, you know, we talk about in this episode, in fact, we’ve covered on other episodes too, the question, are you in survival mode? Which neurologically occurs in the back of the brain. It’s the most primitive part of our brain, the reptilian part of the brain where we are in stress mode and arguably, let’s face it, a lot of people are very stressed. The research certainly bears it out and most people’s everyday life experience bears that out. So that is occurring at the back of your head. But when you are in thriving mode, it’s a different part of your brain that is working and the neurological pathways to both those can be developed. They can be a dirt track or a five lane highway. So I would encourage you to be focusing on mindset. It’s part of what Unstress Health is focused on mental fitness and mindset and developing that neurological pathway to that part of your brain that is thriving. And that is really what Simi is on a mission to achieve. And she talks about in this episode, the five key questions that we could ask ourselves each day to stop procrastination and help you achieve much more. It’s a five minute exercise at the beginning of the day. Look, I’m not going to spoil it. I’m going to let her outline it to you. I hope you enjoy this conversation I had with Simi Rayat. Welcome to the show, Simi.
Simi Rayat [00:03:43] Thank you, Ron. Wonderful to be here.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:03:47] Simi, the workplace is the place where I think so much positive change can occur. And I know you’ve been involved in that. We’re going to be talking about that as well. But I wondered if you you’re a psychologist, but I wondered if you might give us a little bit of a potted history of your journey professionally that’s brought you to this point of of writing this wonderful book.
Simi Rayat [00:04:10] Yeah, thank you. Look, I was a bit of an oddball. I knew very early on that I wanted to be an organisational psychologist when I’m grown up. I always had an interest in people. I was always that nosy kid that wanted to know everyone’s business. And I grew up in a household where my mum was a fashion designer and had her own business. So I was really involved in marketing and getting involved and learning about how a business works from quite a young age. So I did my psychology degree in psychology and management and then did a couple of internships in the UK and also in Canada. And I knew from there that this is the field that I really wanted to get into. So at the age of 21, I did my masters and within those couple of years had some wonderful opportunities to become a chartered organisational psychologist. Then I went out into consulting, worked with various organisations ranging from professional service firms, law firms, public sector, even exciting organisations like the European Space Agency, doing a lot of leadership development, inclusion, wellbeing, diversity work with them. And then I had an opportunity to set up my own psychology business, the first one, which was called Minds for the Future, doing a lot of psychology coaching and counselling, working as an EAP provider for organisations. And I then had an amazing opportunity to sell that business after four and a half years. We had grown a team of eight psychologists, was working with a lot of different, very interesting organisations and we sold the business in 2016 and made a move back to the UK, got back into corporate. But I don’t know, Ron, after working for yourself, it’s very hard to go back and then work for somebody else. So I did that for a couple of years, doing a lot of senior executive assessment and development work for a communication and marketing organisation. And then in 2018, I went on my second maternity leave and that’s where I had that re -ignition that I really wanted to set up my own consulting business again. And that’s when I set up Wellbeing Face, which is now branded as simirayat.com.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:06:58] Wow, OK, well, you know, we’ve spoken to a few organisational psychologists and it’s a major focus now of Unstress Health, having been in clinical practise for over 40 years and very focused on public health. It’s my belief that the workplace is the place where we are going to see public health improve because there’s a confluence of interest. Good health not only makes sense, but it makes dollars, whereas sadly and rather paradoxically to many, that’s not the case in the health care industry. You know, good health may make sense, but it doesn’t make dollars and our health has become a commodity. It’s arguably never been a better time to be an organisational psychologist or HR or people and culture, I think it’s called now, because all the things you’ve known were true for the last 15, 20 years. You now are legislated. What are you seeing out in the workplace? How are we doing in the workplace?
Simi Rayat [00:07:59] Look, I love that you asked that because it’s so true. Like, I’m very passionate about this area because most of us spend more than 70 % of our time either at work or thinking about work. Obviously with the pandemic and the way everybody’s working, you know, either from home or in the hybrid model and even now, so much of what happens at work is very much, it shapes a lot of our identity, our lives, how we show up, what we can achieve, our own self -worth. And whether that’s right or wrong, it is actually the case for many of us. And I think that there’s such an opportunity in the workplace around this intersection of wellbeing, inclusion, leadership and high performance. And when we get all of those things right and we really understand them and we embed it as part of the organisational strategy, not just a workshop here and a workshop there and a bit of this and a bit of that, but actually really integrate a strategy around wellbeing, inclusion and leadership together, that’s when we start to see a cultivation of cultures in the workplace that people can actually thrive. They feel seen, heard, recognised, valued. They feel a strong sense of wellbeing and all of that in accumulation together helps them to be productive, it helps them to connect better, one with themselves, with their teams, with their peers, with their clients. And in turn, we see things like revenue, relationships and results also. I think it really comes to that intersection of those three.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:10:02] Yeah, it’s interesting because there’s a lot of, well, there’s legislation now in Australia as of October 2022, which requires not just companies, not just CEOs, but managers of all levels to minimise and mitigate psychosocial risk of their employees, the people they’re working, they’re managing. Given the mental health of the community at large, that is a big ask, isn’t it, for leaders who arguably are more stressed than the people they’re managing?
Simi Rayat [00:10:40] Yeah, look, it is a big ask. At the same time, though, I think it’s a responsibility that’s not just one -sided, it’s not just the organisation, it’s not just leaders and managers, it’s also for the individuals. Like, it’s got to be a part that is played by everybody, recognising that individually we all can take accountability and responsibility for how we feel, how we manage and regulate our emotions and how we show up. But then as leaders and managers in organisations, we all still play a role in terms of the impact that we as leaders and managers have on those around us in terms of their wellbeing, in terms of how safe they feel to be themselves, bring their ideas and do their best work. So I think it’s not a one -sided approach, it’s got to be an investment from all of those parties.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:11:46] Yeah, and a bowl of fruit and a massage doesn’t really cut it, does it, in this day and age? Which is what has been traditionally, a yoga session, a meditation, here or there. I’ve actually, we did a podcast with the head of HR from Bosch Australia and he made the point that corporate culture was an intersection of policies, like if you can imagine three circles, one circle is the company policies, formal policies, the other is the company’s informal policies and the third is the way the individual shows up to work and the intersection of those three circles is the corporate culture.
Simi Rayat [00:12:29] Yeah, I’d agree and I’d add a fourth one to that, which is the leadership. You know, the leadership, the decision -making and the style of leadership within the organisation and within particular teams. Because you can have the policies and you can have the informal and the formal, but really, you know, if leaders are walking the walk and they’re role modelling those appropriate behaviours, we’ve got, you know, the right to disconnect legislation that’s come into force here in Australia as well, that came into force in September. You know, it’s very, that legislation is a good reminder that at the end of the day, we all have got an opportunity or we should all be looking for ways to be able to take care of our wellbeing. And as employees and as leaders and managers, we all need to remind each other to do that. But to do that effectively, we need to be able to have clear communication and we need to talk very openly about what is on our plate, what our boundaries are and come up together with reasonable ways of working that sets up everyone for success. That’s leaders and managers and the employees.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:13:49] It’s so interesting. You’re right. I mean, unless you have leadership buy in in an organisation, it’s really just window dressing. And I think the stats show that, in fact, I think there was this company called UKG, which is a big company in HR, which did a study that showed that managers, 70 per cent of the workforce feel that their managers have as great an impact on their lives as their own life partner and more than their own doctor or therapist, with all due respect to the present company. So leaders have a huge impact.
Simi Rayat [00:14:29] Massively. And I think, you know, we underestimate the influence and the impact that leaders can have on day to day in terms of how people feel. And when, you know, you and I know that when people feel good, when they feel that their contributions truly matter, that what they do really matters, that their strengths are recognised, they’re able to work in line with their values, that’s when people feel seen. They feel heard and they feel valued. And when that happens, you know, I’ve seen it, that people will move mountains for their leaders to succeed because they actually feel a real sense of connection and affinity to great leaders. And I often say actually, Ron, that people don’t align themselves to jobs and organisations, they align themselves to great leaders.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:15:28] Interesting. That’s true. I mean, that’s true in life, isn’t it?
Simi Rayat [00:15:32] Yeah.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:15:32] That’s who inspires us or not. The opposite of being inspired can infuriate us. And we’re seeing that throughout the world.
Simi Rayat [00:15:41] Yeah.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:15:43] The interesting thing, too, is I want to get on to this joy of work mission and the five cues formula, but I do still, you know, I know you ask about, are you in survival mode? Are you in thrive mode? Because the stats really paint a very disturbing picture, don’t they, of engagement and stress levels at work, which I think the statistics from Gallup was something like, I don’t know, 20 % of people are actively engaged in their jobs, 60 % or 65 % are disengaged, and the balance, I think 15 or 17%, are actively disengaged, which means they’re sabotaging their work. So when you consider that 80%, almost 80%, are either disengaged or are actively sabotaging, that’s a bit of a problem, too, isn’t it?
Simi Rayat [00:16:40] It really is.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:16:42] A bit of a problem.
Simi Rayat [00:16:43] Not just a bit of a problem.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:16:45] No.
Simi Rayat [00:16:46] I think the stats are really striking and concerning. And I don’t think we can turn a blind eye. The Immersive Talent HR Global Report 2024 highlights that 82 % of professionals globally are experiencing mild to moderate levels of stress, anxiety, and are at the brink of burnout. That’s huge. 8 out of 10 people. And you and I know that when people feel, when we felt stressed and overwhelmed and exhausted, we’re not going to be able to do our best work. We’re not going to be able to be productive. We’re also not going to really be a joy to be around, because we’re not going to find joy, and we’re not going to be a joy to be around. So you can see it has this huge ripple effect on everyone around us as well. And it costs Australian organisations annually up to $60 billion in this lost productivity due to disengagement and low well -being, which is shocking. But I think even more than that, it rubs us all of our joy. And that’s when I think, when I talk about survival mode, how are you in survival mode? Do you feel like you’re on this constant rat race where you feel you’re reactive all the time? You feel that you are just running after one thing and doing the next thing, not having a moment to really think and be intentional. So busy ticking off that to -do list because there’s so many things to do. But are we really focusing and doing the things that truly matter? And also doing them in a way that spark an internal joy within us as well. Because when we have that internal joy, we can then experience that for ourselves, but we can also spread that out to others.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:19:02] Yes, I mean, you mentioned that figure $60 billion, which seems extraordinarily high, but it actually is dwarfed by the personal, individual cost to society, to people’s happiness and wellbeing. Families, society at large. Look, I know this is one of your passions. This is what you’ve written about. Tell us about, I mean, you may have just touched on it, but I think it’s worth going through. The Joy of Work mission. Tell us about the Joy of Work mission.
Simi Rayat [00:19:38] The Joy of Work mission is really close to my heart, Ron, because for that very reason, eight out of 10 people are feeling this way. So the mission is to equip and to empower 5 million busy professionals over the next five years to shift from this daily survival to daily thriving. And a key way to make that shift happen is to equip individuals, professionals, business owners, students, parents, working professionals, with the tool, the 5Qs Formula tool, which I’m sure we’ll talk about in our conversation today, but also to help organisations, leaders and managers bring more joy into their organisation by understanding the 5Qs Formula and being able to put it into play for themselves. Because the research that I’ve done in terms of trialling and testing the 5Qs Formula is that it really helps people be more intentional, feel more connected with themselves and then the way in which they connect with others. It helps them be more intentional and it only takes five minutes in your day, at the start of your day, we recommend, once you know the formula to put that into play.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:21:09] Well, it begs the next question, doesn’t it, Simi? You’ve tantalisingly mentioned the 5Qs Formula and I know there are five key questions which you’re suggesting we start each day with. I wonder if we might just go through them.
Simi Rayat [00:21:26] Yeah, absolutely. So the 5Qs Formula is essentially that, it’s asking yourself five key questions at the start of your day. Each of those questions is backed by psychological science and I share in the book stories and anecdotes of my clients that have been using the questions. Now, the questions prime your emotions at the start of the day. They prime your mindset, your focus and attention and a really great way to remember what each of those questions are about is through the prime acronym. So I can share with you what the prime acronym is. It’s a really helpful way just to get your mindset around what those questions are about and why they ask you what they do. So the P is to pinpoint your emotions at the start of the day. Now, I’m not asking you to kind of go into a therapy session with yourself at the start of the day. Many of us don’t wanna do that and it wouldn’t be really conducive. But what is conducive is acknowledging, just first and foremost, just acknowledging and paying attention to what your emotions are, whether they are positive or negative, being able to pinpoint your emotions and feelings gives them a language. And when we give them a language, so I say acknowledge them, we can then regulate them. So you gather a baseline for how you’re feeling and it gives you that opportunity. If you’re not feeling so positive, it gives you an opportunity to put some strategies in play at the start of your day to increase those positive emotions. If you’re already feeling positive, it helps you to double down on those emotions. So paying attention is the first one, pinpointing the emotions.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:23:35] Hi, Dr Ron here and I want to invite you to join our Unstress Health community. Now like this podcast, it’s independent of industry and focuses on taking a holistic approach to human health and to the health of the planet. The two are inseparable. There are so many resources available with membership, including regular live Q &As on specific topics with special guests, including many with our amazing Unstress Health Advisory Panel. Now we’ve done hundreds of podcasts all worth listening to with some amazing experts on a wide range of topics. Many are world leaders, but with membership, we have our Unstress Lab podcast series where we take the best of several guests and carefully curate specific topics for episodes, which are jam packed full of valuable insights. So join the Unstress Health community. If you’re watching this on our YouTube channel, click on the link below, or just visit unstresshealth.com to see what’s on offer and join now. I look forward to connecting with you. Before we go on to the next one, if one was waking up thinking, God, I just feel terrible, I can’t face work. It’s pretty negative, pretty negative. Well, what would be some strategies without going into therapy for a person to turn that emotion around?
Simi Rayat [00:25:07] So then the following questions in the five keys formula really helps to take you to the next one. Okay,
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:25:13] I’m running ahead of myself. Go on.
Simi Rayat [00:25:15] But it’s a great question that you asked because the first point is just acknowledging.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:25:20] Just acknowledge, yeah.
Simi Rayat [00:25:20] Just acknowledge. We don’t need to dwell on it, but we do want to see if we can shift that emotion and we can give ourselves a lift. And this is what the following questions do. They increase your serotonin and dopamine levels, which give you that natural boost of feel -good, happy -good hormones and your motivation hormones. So question two is, if we look at the R in prime, is to recognise gratitude. Now most of us know that if we write down a list of things that we’re grateful for, it can help us make our mindset more positive and optimistic, and we can feel thankful. But my research has found that actually we can get a deeper level of gratitude practise in increased level of dopamine and serotonin if we go beyond asking that question and ask ourselves two other questions. One is, who in your environment, in your life, inspires you to be a better version of yourself? Because we’re inspired by the company that we keep. And by looking and identifying qualities in others that we see, we’re often drawn to those qualities because we have them within ourselves. So it’s a really great reminder that we also have those qualities, and that’s why you’re inspired. Secondly, it’s about thinking of a time or times where people have expressed gratitude to you for something you’ve done, a contribution you’ve made, how it’s helped them. When we recall times when others have been grateful to us, it reminds us of our contribution, our worth and the value that we bring. So the recognising gratitude is a slightly different practise to traditional gratitude practises, but it really harnesses deeper level of serotonin and dopamine release.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:27:40] And I mean, the beauty of gratitude is not only, it’s actually interesting, because not only is it good for you, not only is it good for the people you are expressing gratitude to, but it’s even good for people observing you expressing gratitude. I love that. But you’ve put in two sub -questions. We haven’t moved on to I yet, have we?
Simi Rayat [00:28:00] So we haven’t, so let’s move on to I.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:28:02] But hang on, I just want to get the structure here. Look, I’m a stickler here. But within the recognised gratitude, you’re saying, look for who inspires you, two sub -questions there, look to who inspires you and focus on what you’ve been acknowledged for in the past.
Simi Rayat [00:28:20] Correct.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:28:21] Okay. But that’s not the I, we’re gonna move on to the I now.
Simi Rayat [00:28:25] Thank you, Ron. So the I is really about identifying what’s working well in your environment and what could be working better. So this question is really to hack your brain’s negativity bias. We are all hardwired due to our evolutionary days of being cavemen and cavewomen, but our brains to be on high alert for things that cause us stress, harm and put our safety in jeopardy. So our brain is very much likely to look out for things that are not working quite well. Could be like the smallest things. You haven’t had a good night’s sleep and the neighbour’s been making so much noise or there’s construction going on. And what happens is when our brain identifies these negative things, it goes very quickly into a downward spiral. So this question hacks your brain’s negativity bias by asking you to just identify one or two things in your environment that are working really well for you. They could just be really small things. For example, like you’ve had a really good night’s sleep or you’ve got lots of meetings during the day, but you know that you’re meeting with some really wonderful people. So just those small acknowledgements can kick off the domino effect for your brain then to look out and identify further things that are working well for you in your day.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:30:06] Yeah, love it, love it. I mean, I love the idea of hacking our negativity bias because we most certainly default to our negativity bias. Most people, a lot of people do, I guess. Yeah. So that’s nice. I like that. Hacking your negativity bias. Wow, okay. Great, go on. I’m feeling better already.
Simi Rayat [00:30:28] Love it. So then we move on to the M. The M is make a list of three high -impact tasks that you’re going to do that day. Now you’re probably thinking, Simmy, I’ve got loads more than three tasks that I need to do in a day. And you’re right, most of us do. However, that’s when those to -do lists can feel really overwhelming when we have this long laundry list of things to do. So in the book, I share a very practical tool to help you prioritise and identify what your three high -impact tasks could be in your day. And recognising what those are helps you prioritise that you do those three high -impact tasks at the start of your day, if that’s possible. And then anything else that you achieve that day is a bonus. And three is very manageable. It’s very easy for your brain to remember. It might be three chunky tasks that you can break up into subtasks and do them over several days. But it really gives you an opportunity to feel that you are making progress. Over a week, if you do three things, three high -impact tasks, over a working week, 15 high -impact tasks are achieved. Over a month, we’ve achieved 60. That feels so much more fulfilling and it builds the momentum that you are progressing. That’s the M.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:32:04] I love that too, because I’ve often heard it said that, your daily list should not be written on anything bigger than a small post -it note.
Simi Rayat [00:32:13] Yes.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:32:14] Because people stress out and make, I’ve done this myself, make lists and lists and lists, and you just don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere. But I like that achievable limit of those three. I love that. Okay, so that is make the list.
Simi Rayat [00:32:31] Make the list. And then the E in the prime is to envision how you would like to show up for your day. So most of us respond to our day, or I’m going to say react to our day, because we’re not thinking about how we want to show up in terms of the values, our values that we want to connect with and keep at the forefront of how we show up and interact with others. The superpowers, we all have superpowers, recognising what your superpowers are and what superpowers you’re going to use that day to achieve your three high impact tasks. And also thinking about the energy that you’re going to carry with you throughout the day. And these are really conscious intentional choices that we can make at the start of our day to really prime our mindset, our emotions, our behaviour, so that we can have the biggest impact and make the most positive difference for ourselves and for everyone that we interact with.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:33:43] Yeah, no, great. I mean, and this practise, this is kind of, you could almost be lying in bed or, you know, what part of our day should we be doing? You’re saying beginning of the day.
Simi Rayat [00:33:56] Yeah, morning time is the most preferable. The reason for that is because our brains are most malleable in the morning. We can actually prime and can help to condition the way we think and feel and our focus and our attention before we get bombarded with all of the day’s demands and tasks and the obligations or things that other people are demanding of us as well. So I have a lot of clients that go through the five cues formula in the morning when they are getting dressed for work. They have the five questions or the prime acronym on a little poster on their mirror or when they’re having their morning coffee or making their morning coffee, when they’re on their commute to work or soon as they’ve done school drop off. I like to go to the gym first thing in the morning, Ron. So my commute to the gym is like an eight minute drive. So I use that time to go through my 5Qs in my mind and it helps prime me up for my day. Hmm.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:35:09] And when we take this into an organisation, tell me how you take this into an organisation. Is that commonality of approach the strength in it?
Simi Rayat [00:35:22] Yeah, it’s the commonality. It’s a great reminder for people to remind each other about the 5Qs. Have you done your 5Qs? But also helping leaders and managers, especially those that have got a lot of stress and demands and the responsibility of others because that five minutes allows you to take care of you, you then show up in a more connected, calmer, balanced way for others. So when I’ve been delivering the productivity joy workshops in organisations, it’s really helping leaders, managers and their teams understand the five cues formula, the science and the research behind each of the questions and then really thinking and discussing very practically how and when they would individually or collectively use the five cues formula to help the way that they individually work, but also how they collectively work together as well.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:36:28] I know we’ve done a lot of programmes on positive psychology, the work of Martin Seligman and we’ve spoken to Suzy Green and a few others who are real leaders in this field. And I know Martin Seligman used the PERMA model. People love acronyms. And five letters seems to be what we can P -E -R -M -A. But he also added another letter, H or V for health and vitality because that is such a critical part of feeling positive, of being grateful, of inspiring. So the health part of it is a really challenging part of this whole picture though, isn’t it?
Simi Rayat [00:37:16] It is and I think this is where the mindset is really critical because no matter how much you have on your plate and the struggles or the challenges or the curve balls that come your way, if you’ve got a resilient mindset, if you’re able to prime your mindset that connects to values that adhere to you, that connects to your superpowers and I talk about superpowers in the book as being two things, things that you’re good at, but also when you use them, you feel energised. Now, when we connect with those things, Ron, work and the way that we do things starts to feel easier. There’s less friction. We start to see more solutions rather than problems and it primes this growth mindset, which as you know with Carol Dweck’s work around growth mindset is that it creates possibilities and helps us look at things very optimistically and in that way, regardless of the challenges or the hurdles, it gives us that inner strength and resiliency to keep going and that really helps with our vitality and our health because rather than it being grating and wearing and it being a drain on us, it actually lifts us and we’ve all got that ability within ourselves to prime our mindset and how we feel and our emotions and we can be that catalyst for ourselves at the start of the day.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:39:05] Yes, now I love this too about personal empowerment because we may not have control over events or people in our lives, not may, we don’t have control over people and events in our day but we do have control over how we think about them and that’s perhaps our biggest, our most important tool, how we think about things.
Simi Rayat [00:39:32] How we think about things and then how we choose to respond and I’ve seen it many times that when people are stressed and they’re overwhelmed or they’re irritated, we’ve got a lot on our plates, it’s very easy to react to situations and to people and our own circumstances. We can all fall into that trap of reacting. There’s knee -jerk reactions, saying something that perhaps we wouldn’t have really said if we were calm and balanced and had a little bit of time just to reflect or gather our thoughts and like you say, those challenges or our circumstances are not always going to change but how we are is what we can change and it reminds me, Ron, of why I actually developed the 5Qs formula in the first place. I’ll share the brief story with you because four and a half years ago, I was living in the UK with my little family juggling a corporate role and starting my own business and we were living in this two -bedroom flat in the trendy, transient, West London suburb, Chiswick and I used to feel really overwhelmed and stressed. I was juggling a million and one things and I remember this precise moment on a Friday evening after a long week of work, I came back home and I opened the door to the apartment and I’m looking down the hallway and I can see a pair of shoes here and one sock there and three over there and toys left, right and centre and I could hear all this joy and laughter coming from the TV room and I was completely furious. I slammed my bags down and I’m walking, I should say stomping down the hallway and they could hear me coming and I opened the TV room and my kids and my husband stopped what they’re doing and they look up at me and they said, oh, here comes the bull. Now I was really, yeah, I was so taken back by that. Now don’t worry, they loved me then and they still love me now.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:41:56] I’m sure they do. It
Simi Rayat [00:41:56] was a real reality check for me, Ron, that I was charging through my day feeling stressed and overwhelmed and those closest to me had started to take a step back and I then realised in that moment that something has got to change and that change has got to start with me and I also knew from working as a psychologist for, you know, then about 18 years that a lot of, I wasn’t alone, a lot of busy professionals, business owners were feeling how I was feeling and that’s when I started to do the research to see what was out there that could really help us. A lot of us do things like exercise, yoga, meditation. We have gratitude practises but what potentially could be a system that did not take a lot of time because we’re all very time poor but we could confidently and reliably use knowing that it would prime, you know, your mindset, your emotions, your attention, focus and how you wanted to show up in the world and that’s where I started to do the research and that was where the five cues formula was born and that’s when I started to trial and test the different questions and the impact that it had on people and how it started to make them feel and over that period of time, I started to notice and the research started to tell us it was having an impact on people’s wellbeing, their relationships with others and also how much they were able to really get done and how they felt at the end of their day and during their day and this is where I then realised that if the prime acronym, the 5Qs formula is helping me and it’s helping so many of my clients, I really wanted many more people to know about the formula, know of the research and the science and give it a go and see if it really helps them in their day to day, considering it only takes five minutes of your time to put it into play.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:44:19] Yeah, no, no, it’s good and you know, I think people underestimate the power of the mind because thoughts are things and those things are neurotransmitters. You’ve mentioned two of them. Serotonin and dopamine, oxytocin is another one, that’s the hugging hormone but you know, these neurotransmitters to attach onto cell walls and cause our genes to express themselves in a positive or a negative way. So thoughts are things that make a big difference to our health.
Simi Rayat [00:44:50] Yeah, massively they impact how we feel and how we show up our behaviours but also our feelings shape our thoughts. So, you know, it’s this complex interplay of thoughts, emotions and our behaviours. The more that we can be very intentional about connecting with each of those at the start of the day and this is what I’m, you know, wanting with the five years formula that people can have this reliable tool and system to connect with them in a way that accelerates their impact for the day.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:45:31] No, no, I think it’s great and of course we will have links to the book and your site, of course. I just wanna ask you one last thing because we’re all on a, you may have already covered part of this but I think it’s interesting question because we’re all individuals on a health journey in this modern world and knowing everything you know but taking a step back from your role as a psychologist, as an author, as a coach, what do you think the biggest challenge is for us as individuals on that journey in this modern world?
Simi Rayat [00:46:03] I think it’s really about the busyness and our tendency to get stuck because of demands we place on ourselves, the pressure we put on ourselves, the demands of others, the comparison, you know, especially with social media, the comparison game that many of us play, you know, and I think the pressure and the stresses are very real. At the same time, I think if we’re able to connect with ourselves and be present but also be really clear on what we’re trying to achieve rather than trying to achieve it all, we will start to master each day what truly matters and in that way, we will really start to magnify our own joy.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:47:01] Well, that’s a wonderful note to finish on Simi and thank you so much for joining us and sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. Thank you.
Simi Rayat [00:47:10] It’s been my pleasure. Thank you so much, Ron.
Dr Ron Ehrlich [00:47:13] Well, I love acronyms and you know, prime is a great one. Pinpoint, emotions, R is for recognised gratitude and gratitude is a powerful, powerful tool. You know, this is about thoughts being things, real things that are neurotransmitters that connect onto cell membranes and cause your genes to express themselves in a positive or negative way and gratitude is a big one. Inspire is the I, how you inspire others, how others inspire you. M is for making a list, three high impact tasks. Don’t make long lists through the day and E is to envisage you how you show up each and every day. I love that. I love that little checklist in the morning. I know in our programme, mental fitness training is all about making your mind your best friend, not your worst enemy and that is about regularly checking in with your mind and developing that neural pathway to the thrive part of your brain. I’ll have links of course to Simi’s book, The Productivity Joy and look forward to her joy of work mission. I mean, this is where we can really turn around, not just people’s becoming more productive, but people’s physical and mental health. And so I share her passion in that regard. I hope this finds you well until next time. This is Dr. Ron Erlich, be well. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed? It’s time to unstress your life. Join the unstress health community and transform stress into strength. Build mental fitness from self -sabotage to self -mastery. And together, let’s not just survive, but thrive. Expert led courses, curated podcasts, like -minded community and support and much more. Visit unstresshealth.com today. This podcast provides general information and discussion about medicine, health and related subjects. The content is not intended and should not be construed as medical advice or as a substitute for care by a qualified medical practitioner. If you or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately qualified medical practitioner. Guests who speak in this podcast express their own opinions, experiences and conclusions.
